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Saturday, May 03, 2008
im gtting more and more emo nwadays. esp when im alone. many tings hv been going ard me. sad tings. and i hv no one to tok to. the ting is. i dun trust ppl? i tried to make myself trust u all. i tried to tell myself tat it is time tat u all can noe my probs. bt. i juz couldnt bring myself to say it out. all tat i told u all are minor probs. the smaller stones tat im carrying. bt. its the larger stones tat are making me suffocate.dun blame me. all i ever needed was juz time. bt. i really cannt take it anymore. hw? those tat ive been turning to. when are u when i needed u the most? he. hes juz ignoring my msgs? telling u is juz lyk telling it to the wall. no replies. nth. pls. cme back to me. then her? yes. i trusted u. bt i juz couldnt find a chance to tell her? when im prepared? she will hv sth else to tok to me abt. or it will b the time when she hv to go? i dun hv the opportunity to tell u abt it. all i ever wanted was u to b by my side. no. i couldnt post it out. i dun wan every1 to noe abt it. hw? i nd sum1 desperately... =( dun go. i beg u. i tried keeping it to myself. it has been oni a few days. and i couldnt take it?i tried to let it all out when im alone. i tried to ask/plead/beg (everyting u can tink of) to cry. bt nt a drop of tear was shed. if oni u were here... all i wanted was to cry it all out. shout out all my prob. a gd time to myself. a time when i cry and no one would knew. i wan to prove tat i can do it even when im alone. bt. am i wrong? i tried listening to sad songs. bt still nt a single drop of tear. there mite nt b tat much probs. nono. i wont slit myself. i wont do anyting to harm myself.wad for? will oni gt ugly scars wad. im alr ugly enough. more scars = more ugly. i wont do tat. i really wonder y theres a trend of slitting of wrist. wad for? wad for make urself suffer all tis coz of others? in a broken friendship, u slit le, ppl will oni tink tat u are gaining pity. create more probs. u slit liao u fren oso wont go back to u. in a broken relationship. u slit liao, ur bf or gf will go back to ur side meh? no. so wad for slit urself? so... theres no use. i tried all other alternatives. and tell u all sth. my bro is gtting more and more guai lan nwadays. for nth. point middle finger at me. ask him. wad la? he say nth. wth rite? stupid idiot. bt nth worked. to put on a smile when ur heart is totally shattered. try it. its really diff. bt i made it. =) |
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